The Fireball Gazette

“Pardon me, ladies and gentlemen of the gentle sort, a huge, sincere WELCOME to Triiiiiistriiiiike Claaaash! I am terribly sorry that you’ve waited so long for this moment, but I promise you, with all due respect, that the wait is ABSOLUTELY worth it, eh? Because we have two truly wonderful teams tonight!

The Challengers traveled quite a long distance - sorry about the travel time - to prove their abilities in the Tristrike Arena:

• The gold-clad dragonborn sorceress with lovely, gleaming scales and unmatched magic prowess, Fiery Tiana! (Sorry if she's a bit bright, eh?)
• The Desert Monk of the Open Hand; agile, disciplined and very powerful, she embodies ascetic perfection, Selah the Uncatchable!
• And finally, from the far South - please excuse the sudden temperature change! Eyes like an eagle, fangs like a bear, it is Deva the Devious!*

On the other side of the rink, we have our beloved Goldenbank Team! So sorry for any confusion, eh:

• The Wizard whose burning passion might be a bit much, I know - witness her unmatched magical fury and fiery brilliance: Azoma the Hot-handed!
• The gargantuan hooded fellow commanding the field! No challenger has ever even managed two hits on him. It's quite intimidating, sorry about that; his opponents often weep as he towers over them, Stanley the Colossal!
• And finally, after the retirement of our dear El Gran Samurai, it was a bit of a struggle to find a third member for the troupe, eh? However, on short notice, we found someone! We're so sorry if her background is a bit mysterious; some say she's a fugitive from the West evading the law while others say she seeks vengeance. Her flying scissors cut down foes with deadly precision. Not a sharpshooter but a sharp-thrower: Kenzie the Bladeweaver!”*

And with a quick apology, Adrastos opens the game and they're off to the races, eh! Azano dashes forward - so sorry about the sudden movement - and expels fire from her hands to propel herself onto a statue while Selah uses her swift agility to climb the opposing statue. Kenzie gets into position and is ready to defend the Tower, but oh dear, what is this?! Deva transforms into a lovely horse and gallops forwards! Without even stepping onto the Tower (so sorry for the shortcut!), she extends vines from her arms to grab an Orb but misses! Tiyana is right behind her - sorry about the sudden fire - and uses her Mage Hand to roll one of the Orbs off the Tower towards her team! But here is Stanley, charging headfirst into the fray like a runaway moose! Deva looks like she wants to grab the Orb that Tiyana rolled right towards her, but she's forced to instead summon vines from the ground to halt Stanley's advance! And... oh, goodness me, he's ensnared by the vines and can't move an inch, eh! Azano is right behind him and burns most of the vines with her Fire Breath, but terribly sorry, she just can't free him! However, Deva left the Orb completely unguarded and Kenzie swoops in for the first Claim! It's 1-0 for the Goldenbank Team!

The Challengers don't look particularly happy about that, and Tiyana pokes out of her cover to fire blue flames at Kenzie, who is now in a bit of a state, eh? Deva follows suit and launches a javelin directly into Kiente's torso - oh, my goodness, I am so incredibly sorry! I can't believe my eyes! It's a critical hit! Kenzie is pinned to the Tower as her consciousness fades! We'll certainly need the medic team out to patch her up after the match, sorry about the mess!
On the right side of the arena, Selah tries to fight Stanley, but nunchaku and fists just bounce right off his colossal body like a puck on ice! He gets a swing in as payback, but Selah quickly grabs an Orb, jumps onto a nearby statue, and scores another Claim! It's even 1-1, eh!

The Goldenbank Team is down one player and needs a decisive play fast, so sorry for the tension. Azano scorches her way through the vines as she launches a cloud of flame towards Deva, who doesn't even flinch - so polite! - as she casually rolls an Orb off the Tower towards Tiyana! Tiyana lunges forwards, seemingly trying to Claim the Orb… oh, pardon me, she actually charges past it and kicks it further into her own team's territory!!! She knows that this is a decisive moment where she can't spend time on a Claim, so instead launches a Twinned Magic Missile into Stanley! Six blue flames burn their way onto his limbs as he finally cuts himself free from the vines. But oh dear, what is this?! Selah darts back and forth from her statue onto the Tower and scores another Claim! It's 1-2 and the Challengers are in the lead! Who would have seen this coming, eh?

Stanley jumps off the Tower, trying to follow an Orb that got kicked off, but Deva isn't having any of it! She transforms into a horse again and lunges off the tower onto Stanley! It's hind legs versus forehead as he gets squashed by five hundred kilograms of muscle and hooves - so sorry about the impact! Azano knows it's up to her to stop the Challengers from claiming the last Orb that is deep within their territory, so she conjures up her signature Flaming Sphere! The crowd goes wild - or as wild as we allow them to be, eh? - as she launches it towards Tiyana who will surely get burned! No, wait. What's happening here?! She's absorbing the flames from the sphere into her very own skin!!! She barely gets scorched as she grabs the Orb through the fiery sphere and scores the third Claim! It's 1-3 and the game is OVER, eh! The Challengers have won the match!

Of course, we're staying for the post-game coverage, so please don't go anywhere! The Challengers raise their hands high on the Tower as the medic team tries to pull the javelin out of Kenzie - so sorry about the discomfort! No, actually, it now seems as though they've decided to transport Kenzie with the javelin still inside her. Her teammates give somewhat dismissive looks towards her as they head out of the arena, visibly dejected, eh. And here's Adrastos on the Tower interviewing the winners…